How to Navigate Conversations with Your Nanny Family

Kindred understands that addressing some topics with your nanny family can be daunting. Whether it's discussing a pay rise, overtime compensation, or children's behaviour, these conversations are never easy. However, we believe that transparency and directness (in a professional and polite manner, of course!) are crucial for maintaining a positive and respectful working relationship. By keeping the lines of communication open, we can avoid any resentment and ensure you and your employer are on the same page. Read on for expert advice on how to approach your next conversation with confidence and professionalism.

Take the Leap

Why is it important to speak up with your employer? If something has been bothering you at work for a while, addressing it sooner rather than later is essential. Unresolved issues can lead to built-up resentment, which is something we want to help you avoid. Communication is key! Keep in mind that your employer is likely unaware of how you’re feeling, so don’t be afraid to start the conversation. Even if it's a bit uncomfortable, it’s better to clear the air. Remember, you can always reach out to your Kindred consultant for advice or guidance before taking the leap!

Pick Your Timing

Families are busy—and that’s exactly why they have a nanny! Between work, family life, and other stresses, finding the right time to talk is important. Consider when your employer is most likely to be free and able to give you their full attention. It's often best to request a time to chat in person, but if that's not possible, a simple text or message requesting a good time to discuss matters works too. This shows that you respect their time and allows them to prepare, ensuring the conversation doesn’t catch them off guard. Scheduling regular check-ins is another effective way to stay on top of communication and receive constructive feedback. Consider asking for a quarterly check-in to keep things running smoothly.

Be Prepared!

When addressing difficult topics, it’s common for nerves to take over. To avoid losing your train of thought, take a few minutes to prepare by jotting down bullet points of the key topics you want to discuss. If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remind yourself that a situation is almost never as bad as what you’ve built it up to be in your mind. It’s okay to refer to your notes during the conversation, and doing so can help keep things organised and clear.

The Art of Active Listening

Effective communication is a two-way street. During these conversations, it's just as important to listen to your employer’s perspective as it is to share your own. Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding to show understanding, and summarising what they've said to ensure you’ve understood correctly. This not only shows respect but helps build mutual understanding. Solutions often emerge when both parties feel heard and respected.

Document for Clarity

After any significant conversation, it’s wise to take a few minutes to summarise the main points and agreements made. A brief, professional email—such as “To confirm our conversation…” or “As we discussed…”—helps create a clear record for both parties and ensures there are no misunderstandings. Keep the summary concise, positive, and focused on solutions.

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The Tricky Stuff

Sometimes, you may need to address more sensitive issues, such as a child’s behaviour. If that’s the case, approach the conversation with care. Present specific examples of things you’ve already tried, and share any ideas you have for a solution. Stress that you want to ensure everyone is on the same page and that consistency in behaviour management is key. Respect your employer’s wishes, as these are their children, and they have every right to set expectations. Remember, you’re working together to find the best solution for the family.

Setting Professional Boundaries

While many nannies become close to the families they work for, it’s important to maintain professional boundaries. Be clear about your working hours, responsibilities, and personal time. When raising concerns, try to frame them in terms of how they affect your ability to provide the best care. For example, instead of saying, “I’m always working late,” try saying, “In order to provide the best care for the children, I’d like to discuss establishing a more consistent schedule.”

For New Nannies

If you're new to nannying, don’t worry—these conversations will get easier with practice. Start small with brief, regular check-ins about daily matters. This helps build your confidence and encourages open communication from the beginning. If you're feeling unsure, don’t hesitate to role-play difficult conversations with your Kindred consultant beforehand. We’re here to help you develop these important skills.

Remain Professional

When the conversation doesn’t go the way you hoped, it can be tempting to get defensive. Take a deep breath and remain calm. Respect the situation—you're speaking to your employer, even if you share a close relationship. They may see things differently, and that's okay. Stay composed and articulate your point as clearly as you can. If you feel there's more to add after the conversation, you can always follow up with an email.

Your Kindred consultant or anyone from the agency is always available to support you during your employment. Whether you need advice or just someone to bounce ideas off of, we’re here to listen and help. Don’t hesitate to reach out—we’re your sounding board!